30 November 2010
Ok, so it's 10pm and I am wide awake. My husband thinks I might be transforming into a vampire, which is his only explanation for my changing sleeping patterns. But seriously, I have hoped that somehow my time-ticker would have settled back into its old patterns. But no, here I am late at night and I still feel as though I've got jet-lag. The fact that the sun only goes down at 9pm surely doesn't help.
My current insomnia is fueled by three things. Firstly Bella's firm insistence that her duvet has to cover her bed in a neat manner, during all hours of the night. Secondly our neighbors never seem to arrive home before 12pm and fail to let us know it. And then thirdly there's my growing arachnophobia. You see, in Australia, spiders actually do kill, so one can never be unprepared.
In my nightly travels I have encountered a numerous amount of these eight-legged creatures. Somehow they feel the need to sneak about after hours. This seriously freaks me out, so at night I tread carefully and always, always switch on the lights. This in turn makes me even more awake. But after I drowned the sucker in Raid, I do feel much better. I could almost fall asleep.
But you know what? Being here and not sleeping is still better than sleeping with one eye open, waiting for the alarm to go.
Nov 30, 2010
Nov 29, 2010
A case of the Mondays
29 November 2010
Here's a new thought: Mondays suck on almost any continent. The only difference is that my Monday start to suck at least nine hours before that of my South African family. So here I am in a new country where my whole world has been turned upside down, but - Hey guess what?! Mondays still stayed the same! Still the same mundane, tedious start to a new week, with one exception though. Now I do all the housework as well. I struggle to contain my excitement on this topic.
Way back in South Africa when I told my domestic worker we are planning to move to Australia, she had only one question for me, and I must admit she asked it with a bit of wonder in her voice. Her question was this; "Who is going to do all the housework for you?"
I, of course in my great white confidence replied; "Well I am." You see it is easily imaginable. I am a most capable woman. I can do anything I set my mind to. So we have been here 5 months and I am doing all the housework in our new home. But I do miss Sophie.
I miss her for the following reasons:
1. How the hell did she get the tomato-stains out of the kids clothes?
2. Ironing, Ironing, Ironing and once more Ironing.
3. The fact that my bathrooms were hair free.
4. Egyptian cotton duvet covers crinkle much more than the store assistant told me
5. Tea doesn't make itself
6. The kids don't wipe up the splatters of toothpaste around the washbasin.
7. The damn vacuum cleaner is HEAVY.
But you know what... I have realized that I miss Sophie most of all for this reason: I loved her dearly and the absence of a loved one in our family left a gaping hole. May you find a family to bless elsewhere, my dear Sophie. We will always remember you fondly.
Here's a new thought: Mondays suck on almost any continent. The only difference is that my Monday start to suck at least nine hours before that of my South African family. So here I am in a new country where my whole world has been turned upside down, but - Hey guess what?! Mondays still stayed the same! Still the same mundane, tedious start to a new week, with one exception though. Now I do all the housework as well. I struggle to contain my excitement on this topic.
Way back in South Africa when I told my domestic worker we are planning to move to Australia, she had only one question for me, and I must admit she asked it with a bit of wonder in her voice. Her question was this; "Who is going to do all the housework for you?"
I, of course in my great white confidence replied; "Well I am." You see it is easily imaginable. I am a most capable woman. I can do anything I set my mind to. So we have been here 5 months and I am doing all the housework in our new home. But I do miss Sophie.
I miss her for the following reasons:
1. How the hell did she get the tomato-stains out of the kids clothes?
2. Ironing, Ironing, Ironing and once more Ironing.
3. The fact that my bathrooms were hair free.
4. Egyptian cotton duvet covers crinkle much more than the store assistant told me
5. Tea doesn't make itself
6. The kids don't wipe up the splatters of toothpaste around the washbasin.
7. The damn vacuum cleaner is HEAVY.
But you know what... I have realized that I miss Sophie most of all for this reason: I loved her dearly and the absence of a loved one in our family left a gaping hole. May you find a family to bless elsewhere, my dear Sophie. We will always remember you fondly.
Nov 26, 2010
I will blog...
Thursday 26 November 2010
In being quiet I have realised, that you have to start to put what is in your head, out there. The loneliness inside me has to become something useful. So now I am writing a blog, a way to force me to commit to becoming better. I want to be here in this moment, instead of peering into the horizon in the hope that something will come up. I refuse to fade away into self-pity and despair. I wil blog and it will be great!
In being quiet I have realised, that you have to start to put what is in your head, out there. The loneliness inside me has to become something useful. So now I am writing a blog, a way to force me to commit to becoming better. I want to be here in this moment, instead of peering into the horizon in the hope that something will come up. I refuse to fade away into self-pity and despair. I wil blog and it will be great!
About Quietness
Tuesday 23 November 2010
There’s healing to be done. I have come to realise this. Moving a family from one continent to another is like cutting out you heart with a blunt pair of scissors. It hurts. Like hell. A lack of words seem to have become a common thing for me. I have no words to describe the way I feel, the loneliness I face. I am surrounded by new-found friends who care and reach out, but the loneliness is stuck on my insides. It exists only in my head.
Today I read a piece in Ecclesiastes - Better is a handful of quietness than two hands full of toil and a striving after wind. So today I have decided that I will be quiet and listen to what God is whispering around me. This is a new start, but also the end of what has passed. I think to start quietly may perhaps prove to be wise.
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