Apr 13, 2012

Dig a way

I have just finished reading Rob Bell's book 'Love wins' when in the last chapter it dawned on me. We have got some digging to do. I have a lot of things in my life to unlearn, one of them being my view of God. As I mentioned in my previous post, people are all shaped from early on through our experiences and environments. It is no less true in my life.

Growing up as a farm girl, I know a thing or two about sheep. I know for one, how to deliver a lamb an hour before going to school in the morning. I also know, that the proverb 'one sheep follows another' wasn't just made up. They actually do that, even to their own detriment.

I think that in my faith-forming years I have often just gone all sheep on myself, following blindly in any direction other sheep would lead. This walking around behind others have shaped my understanding of myself and God, unconsciously I have learnt some weird ideas. The problem with the sheep-mentality is that it is very hard to un-sheep yourself. Habits die hard. So even though I now know that God is Love, unconditional love and forgiveness and grace. I still habitually wander around acting as if God is a wolf waiting on the sidelines. Mentally I know the truth, I have had my eyes open for a while, but today I realised that I have kept my heart well hidden away. It is one thing knowing, but believing is a whole different story.

So today I decided that I have to dig a bit, unearth all the reasons why I still believe that God is out to get me, and uproot them. The plan then, is to dig a way for God's love to enter my heart.